Gifts from 2011

I had a great Christmas —my family and I spent it at home, unwrapping our presents and eating amazing food I'll have to replicate soon at my apartment. We were all very pleased with our gifts — we seem to have actually succeeded at getting or making each other thoughtful, caring gifts!

I've been blessed enough to have the space and money to do a lot of baking, and Christmas reminded me of how blessed I am to have relatives who notice how much I love it. My boyfriend's parents got me an adorable "little black apron:"

And see that Kitchen Aide mixer behind me on the counter? That's my Christmas present from my brother. I've never squealed so hard on Christmas — at least not since I hit puberty. It's used and greasy and funky and I will love it until it peters out. And of course, I got my iPod Touch, which I'm currently addicted to. It's a great tool and an even greater toy — plus it takes much better pictures (like the one in this post!)

Beyond all the toys and trinkets, I gained a lot of momentum in 2011 that I can't wait to use in this new year. Thanks to good friends and a boyfriend with the patience of a saint, I've grown stronger and dealt with setbacks with less panic and more wisdom.

I feel like I'm stepping off from a better place than I was last year, and I think that's the whole point. I've dealt with a crushing lack of self-confidence for years, and what I've been forcing myself to learn is that no matter how often I feel like a failure or how often I succeed, what's important is that we keep climbing. I've been at the bottom so many times, and I resent myself for sliding back. I'm trying to look back at what I've achieved instead of letting myself be intimidated by what I have yet to conquer.

Another skill I've finally learned in this past year is to look to other people for help. It's hard to accept that we're not alone in our perilous, Sisyphus-like struggles, but asking for help — or even just sharing that you're hurting — can be the most important step forward you make all year. I'm graduating from college in six short months with most of my friends, and it's a good reminder to look over at them and realize that I'm not the only one worrying about the job market, moving back in with parents, and the future of romantic lives. We can all use a hand, whether we're offering it or asking for a boost.

I have a lot to learn in 2012, from learning the moods of my mixer, to cooking meat without supervision, to getting a "grown-up" job, to coping with doubt and crisis. I can't wait to see where I am — mentally and geographically! — in another twelve months, and that attitude makes all the difference!

Before I end, three quick notes:

1. I've been pretty lax about posting here in the past week, but I've been gathering a lot material to post here. Expect a blogging surge!
2. I was inspired to write this post by my mentor, who wrote a great post looking back on 2011 instead of forward to 2012.
3. My mixer needs a name. Any suggestions?